The Third Day of Christmas by Sue Gowan
When the Psalmist wrote, Weeping may linger for the night, but joy comes with the morning, or at Christmas when we sing O tidings of comfort and joy, the emotions of consolation and delight seem like pretty diametrically opposing ideas – there’s a huge gap between mourning and flourishing. That very tension seemed more real to us this Advent season.
Our understanding of how they fit together was altered as Paul’s mother died on November 11 after six to eight weeks of pretty significant decline.
God graciously went ahead of our impending loss by providing us much comfort. In mid October, a friend shared this liturgical prayer she had been given. This is only part of it, but it gave words to what we were feeling when we simply could not find the words within ourselves to express in mum’s dying process. We prayed this often over the weeks of letting go:
God, giver of life, we would never have wished to see this one we love reduced to such a shell of her former life, suspended in a long languishing, unable to fend or tend well to her own increasing needs… enfeebled, dismayed, in steady retreat from what was once her life. How much anxiety she is enduring now, daily confronted with increasing weakness, limits, and dependence ….
Give us empathy, insight, wisdom, and patience God to respond with mercy and kindness to any grief, confusion, frustration or fear she expresses. Help her to find some momentary glimpses of joy and love. We wish that we could offer her such gifts. But most days, it seems there’s nothing we can give, except willingness to be present, to wait, watch and serve, hold her hand and pray and wait, and wait – as one camped with her on a station platform, watching for a train that could arrive maybe today, or maybe not yet ….
But you are kind and good, O God, and even when we do not understand the mystery of your ways, we can learn to trust that you are also here with her, and that you sympathize and wait with us. So let us not be afraid to love, and to love well, this one we are slowly losing. Teach us to trust—and let her also learn to trust you, O Lord—that your better purposes are being accomplished, even in this waiting.
And thanks to God’s grace, His purposes indeed became evident.
In the days following mum’s death, wonderful memories have flooded our minds and hearts. We’re grateful for many years together, and had the precious privilege to celebrate her 100th birthday in August, sharing with her face to face, as her whole family, 100+ things we loved about her. A remarkable treasured time for all.
Following her death, Jesus has shown up so often in the thoughtfulness, concern, and conversations with friends, co-workers, neighbours. Grateful for our Hillside community group especially who supported us in prayer and in kindnesses. It matters. Christ present in our dailies through one another.
Surprisingly, several close friends have also lost loved ones suddenly in the last few weeks. God keeps giving us opportunities to pass on to others, the blessings shown to us of both comfort and joy in more meaningful ways.
And in all of this, we realize all too well that too many are in need of comfort – emotionally and physically – needing a place to call home, a community that loves and cares for them, safe spaces and relationships where they will be treated with dignity, love and respect.
You can find a downloadable PDF of this reflection here.
Each day, a new reflection will drop here. We hope you enjoy them and reflect upon, experiencing the presence of Christ in this season.